Infertility and the couple

Infertility creates changes in the relationship of the couple. The couple may experience feelings of anger and guilt, but at the same time the shared sorrow and hope may bring about closeness. Surviving an infertility crisis may further enhance the commitment and closeness of the couple. The experience has become a shared experience. Many couples have felt that they have been able to discuss matters that have been difficult to address previously, but which still "have always existed". Sometimes talking about one's feelings with the partner does not seem to be sufficient. Talking to friends and relatives about feelings caused by infertility may help but it is not always possible. Discussions with the staff at the infertility clinic alleviate the situation and help to give it a new perspective.

Infertility may be strongly associated with "making babies", fertility being an important expression of sexuality. This means that sexuality, which is everyone's own personal, intimate matter becomes some kind of an object of attention. Questions related to maternity and paternity are raised. Sexual intercourse, which is part of one's sexuality may become a scheduled routine, which is determined according to the best time for conception. There are, however, many sides to sexuality, which can be also strengthened during infertility examinations and treatments. Intercourse also serves different meanings. Intercourse which is timed with a viable conception time aims at solving the problem of infertility. Sexuality, on the other hand, is directly linked with pleasure and does not necessarily need to serve a purpose, as such. Discovering and preserving romance, sexuality and even humour also during infertility treatment enhances the well-being of both partners. The situation may be improved by an awareness of the fact that this is a stage in life that the couple is going through together and the difficult, strenuous situation will eventually be solved, one way or another. Life goes on during the treatment periods and after them. As a result of the treatment, there may be a new addition, a baby, to the family. It is always worthwhile making an effort in a relationship. Sharing emotions may at best open whole new dimensions of knowledge about one's partner and improve the well-being of both the relationship and the individual in question.

Lapsettomien Tuki ry is a support organisation for childless couples in Finland. This organisation offers, for instance, discussion groups.